


The Three Cs

by torino10154



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Ficlet, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Language, M/M, Sexual Humor, Size Kink, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22565104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154
Summary: Ridiculousness inspired by a convo my BFF and I had by text earlier today. But hey, I haven't forgot how to write completely so we'll call it a win.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Ron Weasley
Kudos: 74





	The Three Cs

**Author's Note:**

> Ridiculousness inspired by a convo my BFF and I had by text earlier today. But hey, I haven't forgot how to write completely so we'll call it a win.

Draco finished the last drops of his third gin and tonic and announced, "I'm getting a new tattoo. Three Cs."

"What's that stand for then?" Blaise asked snickering. "Champagne, caviar, and Cruciatus?"

"Cunt, cock, and come, if you must know." Draco poured himself another drink. 

"I thought you'd sworn off fanny," Pansy said, leaning in close and running her hand up his thigh.

"I have. The cunt refers to you lot. My friends. Bunch of cunts."

Blaise rolled his eyes and flipped his fingers into a V.

"And where are you putting this tattoo?" Millicent asked. "On your pale arse or on your arm for all the world to see?"

"Oh, my arm. It's a conversation starter. If you get to see my ass, I don't want to talk, I want you to shut up and fuck me."

"This explains so much." Pansy smirked.

Blaise took a drag off his cigarette and asked, "What does it explain?" 

"Why Draco is seeing Weasley," Pansy said as if sharing a terrible secret, which maybe it was. "He's beyond stupid but must have a big cock. 'Just put that huge cock in my arse, Weasley, it's the only reason I want you around,'" Pansy said, mimicking Draco's voice.

Greg guffawed, slapping the table repeatedly and threatening to spill his pint. 

"You're cunts." Draco stood. "But perceptive ones."

"I knew it!" Pansy crowed. 

"On that note, I have an appointment to keep." Draco suppressed a shiver of anticipation.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Blaise said, draining his glass.

"Too late for that, I think," Millie chimed in. "Unless you're fucking Weasley now, too."

Blaise shuddered. "Christ, no."

Draco leaned down and curled his lips into a smile. "He would put your purple dildo to shame." Satisfied with Blaise's wide-eyed expression, Draco turned on the spot.

"You're early—," Weasley started.

"Shut up and fuck me," Draco replied as he began unbuttoning his shirt.

Weasley pushed Draco to the bed, eyes flashing. "Gladly."


End file.
